How to interpret text messages

Many speak of a simpler the time, a time when text messaging did not exist. From what I have been told and can deduct from early wall encryptions, people use to speak directly to each other. They spent more time trying to reach each other than understanding each other. It seemed like they usually always know exactly what the other person was trying to communicate, except when miscommunication was forced for the sake of comedy.

These days we are left with the mess technology have left us to deal with – text messaging. Communication has gotten faster, but has interpreting it? When texting, there are a lot of factors left for us to interpret, like the particular tone of voice, hand gestures and facial reactions. I thus decided to create this understanding-texting article.

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Obviously, he did not forget his chemistry book. He burned it on purpose so he can ask for yours. We can detect from the use of the emoji that he is actually after more than just your chemistry notes. By using the chemistry emoji, he is clearly indicating that he thinks you two have chemistry and by asking you for notes he is actually asking you for coffee.

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Okay this is an easy one to miss. One might suspect that this girl is only asking the guy for “coffee” before “class” but let’s inspect this message. She starts off by asking how he is doing. We all know that women are generally more emotional, so this is not strange to us, but what she says next is what gives us the clue she is after more. Any phrase starting with “do you” is clearly a sign of sexual interest and the word “coffee” only fuels my suspicion, because the taste of your regular drugstore love potion can easily be masked by caffeine. She thinks she can hide her lust by casually making the appointment before class, but we are onto her. We can conclude that going for coffee before class is not a good idea, because she is obviously hiding more things than just her interests.

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This is an easy one, folks. The culprit here is the guy, clearly only coming back to Stellenbosch to be with her (his obvious one true love). We can see this in the way he really cares about her by asking (not so directly) how her weekend was. These are signs of compassion that should not be overlooked. He is truly a caring soul and should be showered with constant messages of need. Don’t let a moment go by without word of affirmation, because this is what this messenger craves.

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This one has gotten a lot of hearts broken, and it too so sad for me to see friendships getting ruined like this. This is a subtle but harsh message shows that this person has no interest in you whatsoever. He is trying to say that you are too high maintenance for him and that he deliberately misled you with his initial message when he should have known you want to go at eight. We also have reason to suspect that there is no real meeting and that he is fabricating this to tell you that whatever you two had is over. Please remove this person from your life to avoid any pain.

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This is one of those times when I have to say after years of research we still have no idea what this phrase means. Professionals have speculated but we have not been able to come to any concrete conclusion.

Disclaimer – this article is not based on scientific research, but should be interpreted as facts. It is not factual, but it is not false. These does exist a universe where this is true – not saying it is our universe.

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